The Weekly Update page is extracted from a weekly e-mail sent out by
Assistant Pastor Donna Pollock
My dream job just came open! So don’t any of you dare apply! According to USA Today (August 6), the makers of Nutella are looking for sixty “sensory judges” who will be paid for taste testing its products. Peanut butter may be smooth, nutty, and creamy-good, but comparing it with Nutella, a hazelnut-chocolate spread, is like comparing the Old Covenant with the New Covenant. Peanut butter is better than good, but wed chocolate to any nut-butter and discover a match made in heaven!
Twenty years ago I had a chance at my first dream job. Staying overnight in a B &B in Great Britain, the owner indicated he needed to finish serving breakfast and depart for his day job. Doing what, I politely inquired. Taste-tester for a chocolate company, he graciously replied. Even if I had slain him on the spot, disposed of his body, and my crime gone undetected, that would not have guaranteed me his job. Just because a person swills lots of wine doesn’t make for an oenophile or serious oenologist either. Just because I adore chocolate doesn’t mean I grasp the finer nuances of ganache or cacao. Trained discernment makes the sensory difference.
If there’s any bad news, it’s that only forty finalists will be chosen and–if you think this is a drawback–you must relocate to the city of Alba, in the Piedmont region of northern Italy. Soon too! Training starts in September. Moreover, the job will be part-time, only, to allow people to seek other outside employment and, possibly, to spread the joy of Nutella around.
Perhaps opportunity really does knock twice…what if God wants me to nosh on Nutella!? But I need to be honest. I already have the sweetest dream job. I get paid to do something I love and would do for free if I could afford to do so. I get to work for God and with people like all you all! What’s not to like?! And, while there’s no chocolate, as everyone knows, pastors only have to work one day per week. So please, don’t covet my job and remember, contemplating murder in your heart is contrary to the Ten Commandments. When it comes to chocolate or Nutella, I should know.